It had to be him
by dreyd
Summary: Severus Snape. A few moment before the one who survived be scarred. Translation from the french fanfiction “Il a fallu que ce soit lui”. Two Chapters. §FIC TERMINEE§
1. What I always wished for

Summary : Severus Snape. A few moment before the one who survived be  
marked. Translation from the french fanfiction "Il a fallu que ce soit  
lui". Two Chapters.  
  
Disclaimer : Snape and his thoughts belong to Rowling.  
  
To a lovely babe Valentin  
Thanks to his mother for the translation  
  
.  
  
It had to be him – What I always wished for  
  
.  
  
He asked me to follow him.  
He's got a surprise for me.  
A reward.  
  
You're there in front of me.  
You're lying at my feet.  
I wasn't able to do anything.  
How many times did I wish I could contemplate such a scene?  
How many times did I let the reflection of myself being absorbed into the  
Rised mirror?  
  
You're here in front of me.  
You're lying at my feet.  
You died in a green dazzle.  
Your body tortured with pain, never supplicating, never...  
You went through all this suffering within a few seconds.  
  
That's over now.  
That's what I always wished for.  
Nothing anymore.  
  
.  
  
I'm feeling sick.  
I'm feeling empty.  
It's myself I'm looking at.  
My only desire, what I was made for doesn't belong to me anymore.  
  
It's in front of me.  
It left me.  
I'm empty.  
Desireless.  
I haven't got anything left.  
I am no more.  
  
.  
  
I wish I could laugh.  
With His sinister and gutural laugh.  
I can't.  
What am I feeling?  
Am I able to feel anything?  
  
I'm out of breath under this hood...  
I am suffocating.  
A second skin I'm obliged to wear to the end.  
Even if I disown it.  
I want you to see me.  
To see my true face.  
  
.  
  
You're lying on your back.  
Your eyes are looking at me.  
As dark as the night.  
More lively still since you're no more.  
Arrogance.  
It didn't left you.  
Your dead eyes are boring me as they always did.  
Despise and scorn.  
You're still the strongest one.  
  
You've been betrayed.  
Your friend has betrayed you.  
He put you to torture.  
He killed you.  
You're lying at my feet.  
You're dominating me again.  
  
.  
  
What I've always wanted.  
My only wish.  
To rejoice.  
Impossible.  
  
That wasn't it.  
Not that way.  
  
To hate you to the end of my life.  
To envy, to admire, to be jealous.  
To criticize, to hurt, to break.  
Face to face.  
To the end.  
  
.  
  
I wish I could repare that.  
Scrub it away.  
Undo it.  
I wish I could hate you remorselessly.  
  
.  
  
Shoutings, prayings.  
A laugh...  
  
He came up.  
He's with her.  
No.  
Not her.  
  
Your dark eyes are gazing at me.  
You're not asking me anything.  
You're putting me face to face with myself.  
  
I'll save her.  
Wearing a mask.  
I'll save myself. 


	2. To be again

Summary : Severus Snape. A few moment before the one who survived be  
scarred. Translation from the french fiction "Il a fallu que ce soit lui".  
  
Disclaimer : Snape and his thoughts belong to Rowling.  
  
To a lovely babe Valentin  
Thanks to his mother for the translation  
  
.  
  
It had to be him – To be again  
  
.  
  
Too late.  
I'm arriving too late.  
  
But she saw me.  
My hideous death-eater face.  
The one she once protected.  
  
I saw your despise in her eyes.  
And her sadness.  
And her fear.  
And her love.  
  
She too is falling down.  
That damn laughing again.  
His hoarse voice.  
His hissing breathing.  
My Master.  
  
His present.  
A traitor's treat.  
My punishment.  
  
.  
  
I'm hearing a lullaby.  
A tiny mobile above the cradle.  
A child.  
Your child.  
  
He's getting nearer.  
He's raising his wand.  
The world is swinging around me.  
  
I can see his moving lips.  
I'm closing my eyes.  
I can't.  
Too much.  
  
.  
  
Crying.  
  
A child is crying.  
  
.  
  
Where is He?  
Where is the Master?  
  
.  
  
I'm getting near the little craddle.  
Your son is alive.  
A dribble of blood is trickling on his forehead.  
  
He defeated Him.  
I don't know how.  
I dont' know why.  
But he is alive.  
  
I'm taking him in my arms.  
His crying stops.  
He's looking at me.  
He's peering at me.  
  
It's you.  
It's her.  
I'm holding both of you in my arms.  
  
He's giving me a smile.  
He's falling asleep.  
  
.  
  
I know He will be back.  
To put an end to what he had started.  
To face your son.  
  
.  
  
To repare.  
To erase.  
To undo.  
  
.  
  
It had to be him.  
The one I should protect.  
The one for whom I should die.  
The one who survived.  
The powerful one.  
  
To make a meaningful life of mine  
  
.  
  
He knew he would come.  
He had hidden it.  
He had hidden it from me.  
He knew it would be him.  
  
.  
  
It had to be him.  
To repare.  
To start all over again.  
  
To hate  
To protect  
To the very end. 


End file.
